
Asking the Owner is Great, But How About Asking theĀ Dog?
Pamela Dennison (c) 2017
Although people actually asking permission to pet your dog from a safe distance is verrry slowwwly on the rise (people are still racing up to strange dogs, still getting bit, still causing trauma to the dog, still thinking dogs are public propertyā¦sighā¦), there is one part, equally important, that continues to be missed.
Asking the DOG!
True stories:
You ask to pet someone elseās dog. They say āyes, you may.ā You walk right up to the dog, reach down and over the dogās head with arm outstretchedā¦and whammo! Instant dog bite.
I had this happen at my business about a month ago: A stranger walked in to inquire about dog training. She saw the cute Pug across the room and without an invitation, made a beeline for the dog. Dog was scared and started growling. I instantly stepped in between and the stranger started to walk around me to get to the dog. I had to hold the stranger by the shoulders to stop her. I asked her what she was doing. Her response, āI want to pet the dog.ā I told her to look at the dog, ādoes it look like that dog wants to be pet?ā (in the meantime the dog is still growling). Her reply, āBut I want to pet the dog.ā I told her āItās not about what YOU want, itās about if the dog wants you to approach and pet.ā She wasnāt all that happy about me physically blocking her from getting to the dog, but finally backed off.
Even with the most innocent āask and receive permission from the owner,ā did you ever think to ASK the dog? Obviously we canāt āaskā the dog like we just did their owner,Ā but if youāre observant and get out of your own internal wish to pet that dog come hell or high water, youĀ canĀ actually ask the dog.
When Iām petting a strange dog (after getting permission, although I have to say, I rarely ask to pet someone elseās dog, preferring to admire from a distance ā yes even with my own clients dogs), I do NOT just walk up to it and thrust my hand in itās face. I squat down sideways, look away, yawn, lick my lips, keep my hands to myself, and waitā¦.I watch out of the corner of my eye to see if and how the dog approaches. If the dog comes up nicely (no head down, tail not tucked, not too timidly, no overt calming signals, etc.), I still waitā¦if the dog sniffs me, great. I still waitā¦(a dog sniffing you is NOT an invitation to pet it). If the dog inserts itās face under my arm or hand with a typical āpet meā motion, then I do a few soft strokes on the chest and then take my hand away and waitā¦if the dog walks away, I let him move away āĀ heās allowed to have his own opinion about how and how much heās willing to be touched.Ā If the dog stays with me, Iāll pet a little more, then take my hand away again and wait⦠I give the dog an āoutā so that if they want more petting, they can have it and if they donāt, I donāt pressure them to accept it.
There have been some dogs that when I approach sideways, tell me from many feet away that Iām too close. I donāt pressure the dog ā I simply walk away. After all, we all have our own comfort zone, where we will allow, or not allow certain people to come into or stay out of it. Itās only fair to respect dogs for the same thing.
Take a look at the photo above. This dog isnāt all that thrilled about being pet on the head ā you can see his head ducking and heās licking his lips. If you arenāt aware of dog body language and you approach a dog inappropriately, be aware that you may be inviting a bite.
Educate yourself! THE best resource is Turid Rugaas and her book and DVD on Calming Signals. (www.dogwise.com) Get them both and be sure to watch the DVD a minimum of 12 times. Iāve watched it over 2,000 times. No lie.
This is a link to a fabulous article, that may help you put it all into more perspective ā from the dogās point of view. http://www.drandyroark.com/dog-not-petting-zoo/